An Open Letter To Elmo...

Warning - No Pictures, knitting content and a couple of not so nice words...Elmo is in trouble though I tell you!

Dear Elmo,

This is the last straw - I hate you Elmo. Yes I said it and I am thrilled to get it out there. I HATE YOU ELMO! I use to be all for you. Yes, you could never take the place of beloved blue friend Grover, but I knew you had your charms. With all your tickeling and laughing and costing thousands. I thought that was fine. Stupid but fine. Mr. Noodle he was okay and Dorothy yes she has lived 200x longer than any goldfish but that did not do it. THIS is it!

Your whole video on Potty Time needs to go. You have RUINED my two year old. Your asinine song Accidents Happen well let me tell you. NO Accidents DO NOT HAPPEN! Ever since watching your damn video my son thinks it is now fun to pee on the floor and start signing this blasted song. He says he wants to be like Elmo! Yes he was sooo good he was going on the potty for weeks. NOW RUINED. His grandmother though sent this blasted video and now he is RUINED. So thanks you little red shit! We are researching diapers for 12 year olds because that is how long it seems we are DOOMED! Again, thank you Elmo thanks for your shitty ass video and song.

You better watch out. I have informed cookie monster that you are actually a large sprinkley red cookie. See if you ruin another two year olds potty training again.


Sincerely,



One pissed off mommy!

What being a mommy is about... (no knitting sorry!)

Today R melted my heart like no other. You see as I was leaving for work I peaked in on him and he was just waking up. So I put my coffee cup down on the dresser, put my shoes down and BAM have no idea how but coffee cup fell off the dresser and straight to the floor...white carpet and all..okay beige but it is still light as hell. I screamed, cried, got towels and cleaner. B came in and knew this time I was too upset to say his usually "funny" line, "Well why did you do that?" and just helped me clean it up. R was still in the crib saying, "Mommy is sad. Mommys sad. Big Mess." Oh yes it was a mess and this weekend we have to rent a carpet cleaner...

So after cleaning it up as much as I could I was now late for work so I ran down the stairs to put my shoes and socks on. As I was putting my socks on R came over and gave me a hug then a big peck right on the lips. You see this is big in the house I go to give R a kiss bye and he puts his head there so I only get the top and his hair! I say, "no mommy wants lips" and move his face to give him a peck there. Today he came over and gave me the kiss moving my face because I was upset. It was too sweet. Melted my heart.

It did not end there...then in all his cuteness. I was in the car tried to start it only to realize I left the keys on the stairs. As I was getting out of the car R was opening the door to the garage keys in hand. "Mommy your keys". I thought B sent him on his way to do that, but he had not...my little cookie saw those there and ran after me. Too sweet.

Of course after I got the keys I asked for a kiss goodbye and I got hair...sweet sweet hair it was.

I SWEAR I STILL KNIT!

So after being smacked upside the head from multiple people. Having friends say do you still knit...I decided I sure as hell better post.

I know I am such a loser I cannot believe it has been six months...well I could give you an update but that would break the freaking page. Instead I thought I would put up items for accountability. I have the following that are so close to finishing. The perfectionist in me is not finishing them for fear of failure. Whoa that felt good to just get it out there. This list have some pretty big projects that are super close to being done. Many have been on the needles for a year...some for a few months. Next to each name is what needs to be done for it to be a FO, besides the basic blocking and blogging. As you can see this little old neglected blog may be becoming a bit of a slut here in the next month with all the action she'll be getting. My blog is almost hitting two years and I think I need to start getting PRIZES here. Help a girl out with her stash and share it along.

My list:
Carolina - lace edging kicking my ass. Seriously this scares the crap out of me. I have done one sleeve 4 times.
VK Shrug - seam up and crochet the front edge. I am worried about the size so I have let it sit there.
Mohair FK - finish second tie. It is just so boring. It has been on the needles for a year now and sitting at this point for 10 months...startitis anyone?
Karate - collar - yup all is done and just need the collar. I think this will be tonights project.
Skating - frog make longer. I am up to the top, but really I want it longer so I will rip back to under the arms and make it longer. I really like this version.
BTS FK - Finish back - front is done and started the back last night. I love this stitch pattern on top it is totally helping me from getting bored.

When I have one done I will be starting the new Veronik Avery scarf on Knitty tonight. Have a travel bag for it and two yarn options. I really love the idea of having a project to travel everything I have is just too large to knit outside of the house.

I also in the past 6 mo finish 2 scarves, and two pairs of socks...and have been starting enough ;) I just need to take pictures. You would never guess that I started a business about 6 months ago would you?

Oh and I am NOW on Ravelry - Come say hi!!!!!